Jena

HINDSIGHT

2010-12-17T04:42:00.000-08:00

Today I started to think about Jesus being “The Savior of the World” and what it must have been like to walk with Him…and then this question came to mind…

Why is it so hard for us to see someone’s love while we’re in the middle of it...Isn’t it true that we seem to see it more clearly from the other side, looking back on it?

Let’s take a look at the disciples....Jesus loved them, He chose them. But with His love came discipline, correction and challenges. He set the bar high.

Did they see it? His Love? Really see it? Or was their sight clouded by what they wanted Him to be...who they thought He should be or maybe who they thought they should be with Him?? Was it only when they looked back on Him and His time with them that they saw how much He really loved them??

As I was thinking about this I started to think about my relationship with my mom. During my teens I rebelled. Every part of me was screaming “I know what’s best for me!” I was convinced that my mother was old and she couldn’t possibly know what I was going through. It’s funny how at 16 years old I thought I had the wisdom of a 40 year old. Everything she said seemed controlling, unreasonable and well simply put, ridiculous!

But in her (God given) wisdom she knew her job was to lovingly teach me, correct me, discipline me and challenge me to grow. I knew she loved me but I could not see the depth of her love until I saw it from the other side. When I look back it seems as if it took 20 years to get there!

Then I thought about Jesus? When we see stories of His time here....we see His love, His blood shed, His ultimate sacrifice. But I believe we are able to see it so clearly because we are looking back. Do you think we would have seen it in the same way if we were there with Him? I mean we struggle with seeing Him during our trials here and now. During the storms of life don’t we question whether or not He’s there with us and if He loves us? Then when the storms pass we figure out not only is His love never ending, but He never took His eyes off of us? He is molding us and teaching us how to be the people He intends us to be.

I pray that I not only see love in hindsight, but that I see it in spite of myself and my stubbornness. That I learn more and more each day how to love like He does. And in seeking Him I pray that He teaches me how to love BEFORE, DURING AND AFTER the lessons I am called to learn. And that He affords me the grace of endurance at those times that I am called to be the teacher.

In Jesus name, Amen.

THE FREEDOM OF CHRISTMAS...THROUGH MY EYES

2010-12-06T09:48:00.000-08:00

I imagine committing a crime and being sentenced to a suffering of some sort…

Maybe a prison cell….for me this would be the worst kind of suffering. You see I am claustrophobic and even the thought of being confined makes me feel like I’m drowning or in a parked car in August with the windows up and the doors locked shut.

Or perhaps for you, maybe it’s being badly beaten every day by an angry person….or worse, being violated each and every day until you are numb to the very core of your being.

Then imagine one day…out of nowhere…someone you’ve never met steps up and offers to take your place…freely giving it all up for you, surrendering everything to rescue you….

At first you don’t believe it, why would you…its impossible…

Who would do this?

Surely he must want something from me….or why would he do this?

But his answer is simple…..it’s Love.

And you think Love??? I don’t even know Him…and even stranger, you think does he know me? This is crazy…this can’t be real. And you remember all the times you’ve heard someone say “If it sounds too good to be true, it usually is”….

Then one day…you wake up and you’re on the outside of your cell and when you turn back to look inside you see someone lying there wearing your coat…the one you’ve always worn before. He lifts his head, looking up at you he smiles and without words his eyes say to you “I love you, so I took your place. Now go and live forever free…just remember me always…tell people what I’ve done and that I love them as much as I love you…..

Would you do it…tell people?

Would you fall at his feet in gratitude?

Would you forever be grateful knowing that “His law is Love and His Gospel is Peace?”

Would you go as far as to say you would worship him?

Or would you walk away claiming your freedom, forever forgetting this Selfless, Loving, Awesome Man who FREELY gave it all up for you?

Jesus is knocking…answer the door.

He knocked on my door for forty years, waiting patiently for me to answer. When I did, He rescued me from my prison cell and gave me life.

Why would anyone keep that a secret??!!??

WAITING ON GOD

2010-04-20T19:24:00.000-07:00

I have waited my whole life for Love. Like most people, I tried to design it myself (more times than I would like to admit).

Besides a few serious relationships, I’ve been engaged five times (yes I said five) and married once. Obviously not only was I looking to be loved…I was looking for someone to fill this hole inside of me. A hole that I came to know as my God shaped hole.

After accepting Jesus in my heart, I decided I wanted to spend my time getting to know Him so I put dating on hold....the more I got to know Him, the more I came to realize that the man in my life would need to be a Godly man. The more I fell in love with Him, the more I realized that the sexiest thing in a man was his love for Jesus.

I prayed and trusted God with my future. And as a “ducks in row” chick, I was sure my God would send me this nice neat package. You know, a Godly man with no kids, little past baggage, and a future in perfect order….SURPRISE! The man He sent me is a Godly man, but the nice neat package thing…not so much. But my Great Big God had a plan from the very beginning.

I discovered that when you follow His lead, He will lead you in ways you have never imagined. Follow Him and He will give you all the desires of your heart. The ones you knew you had, as well as the ones you didn’t dare dream of. Wait on God, and he will blow your mind.

A relationship designed by Him is not about the two people who are in it, it’s about how they will glorify Him together. Loving Jesus first is what matters and everything else follows. I can’t imagine myself ever being able to design a man who adores me, who pursues me and who loves me the way that my Father has. His gift to me shows me how much He loves me.

Worldly relationships are about “How can you make me happy.”

Godly relationships are about “How can we make Him happy together.”

The focus is different, therefore the struggles are different. Making Him happy comes before making your significant other happy. Now the pressure is off of you, because making each other happy becomes His responsibility, not yours.

Being responsible for someone else’s happiness is an expectation God never intended us to have. I trusted Him and He gave me my Greatest Gift. I Love you Smith.

The only way to God?

2010-01-11T12:54:00.000-08:00

The statement was…I just don’t believe that Jesus is the only way to God.

The question was….What do you think about that?

The answer is….It makes me sad.

Sad is ….

Believing that God came to earth, put on flesh, allowed himself to be beaten beyond any other human tolerance, flesh ripped from his body, ridiculed, spit on, climbed on a cross, was nailed to it, suffocated and suffered until he died…for you…for me…for EVERYONE. We didn’t earn it or deserve it. He did it because He loves us.

And His death would have been in vain if the statement remains “I just don’t believe that Jesus is the only way to God”

Sadder is….

Going through your whole life never knowing the kind of love that “believing that Jesus is the only way to God” gives you.

My Grown up Christmas Wish

2009-12-07T04:42:00.000-08:00

In my quiet time with God today the author of a devotion revealed to me an awesome visual....

Psalm 3:3 But you oh Lord are a shield around me: you are my glory, the One who holds my head high.

Imagine kneeling before God, heads down as we are sinners before the perfect One...He reaches down, puts His Hand beneath our chin and lifts our head. We are now looking directly into the face of God....And by this He shows us His Love, His Grace and His Mercy.

This is my "grown up Christmas wish" for all who do not yet know Him....May all the lost be found......In Jesus Name...Amen

LOOKING FOR GOD IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES “Believer” or “Spiritual” ???

2009-08-21T11:06:00.000-07:00

Addiction, don’t know much about it, but God keeps bringing it in front of me. And what I keep seeing is a missing link to recovery….are most in abstinence, instead of recovery?

I believe the missing link is Jesus. This “Spirituality” I keep hearing about is a belief that God is this force that is inside of you. There is this “Flower Child” thing going on, this belief that if you find that spiritual level, all will be good in the hood. Then when “life happens” the fall backwards into old behavior begins, and in that this swallowed god abandons.

To the “Spiritual peeps” Jesus was a great man of God, not God Himself. The belief is that God used many great people to speak through and Jesus was one of them, thereby missing the need for salvation. Totally missing the sacrifice He made for us and the love He has for us. As I see it, putting God in a clear topped box and looking at him through a human lens.

Unbelievers believe that if Jesus is who He said He is then in dying on the cross wouldn’t He have saved us from all the pains of life? My answer to that is in the form of a question….hmmm then wouldn’t we love Him by default? Doesn’t Free Will apply here as well, or does it only apply in areas we want it to? God wants us to love Him in spite of all that life has to offer. He gave us free will and when we as flawed people choose this free will and screw things up, we then want Him to intervene and give us the happy ending we think we deserve. God gave us a perfect world and we brought sin upon it. He loves us through it and stays patient with us, even when we turn our backs on Him. He put on flesh and walked among us, died for us, to make us right with Him again. And He gives us free will to follow Him…not because He makes us or entices us to, but because we believe in Him and what He did for us.

He never said He would undo the mess we made of this fallen world, but He does promise to never leave us or forsake us….Jesus says “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me”. Mark 8:34

I believe the danger comes when we think we know more than God. When we don’t realize that we only see part of the picture, but He sees the whole picture.

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it"...Matthew 7:13-14

"The difficult life is the only life worth living. This narrow gate requires obedience, faith in him, discipline and endurance. Why is it so hard for so many to see this day as a gift? Just walk through the narrow gate so that you might have life in abundance, both in this one and thereafter".

We spin our wheels trying to find peace and inner joy…we walk around putting ego before Jesus. The thought of submitting to Him for so many is impossible and to that I say….SUBMIT! SUBMIT! and listen to this:

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." Matthew 11:28-29….

What do you have to lose??!!

WHEN GOD SHOWS UP

2009-08-19T11:12:00.000-07:00

Anyone who knows me, knows that the love of my life was my Cat, Christyanne....who I loved for 18 years.

Many days I wake up missing her, and today was one of those days. I felt especially heavy this morning. I sat on my couch as my coffee was brewing, looking at her picture above my TV and started talking to her. I told her that I miss her and that love that only a kitty cat can give her mommy...I miss hugging her, feeling her laying on my belly and especially feeling her cold nose as she rubbed her little head against me. I cried for a couple of minutes, asked God to help with the pain in my heart, pulled myself together and continued with my day.

Then God showed up big time. Although He could not bring me my Christyanne, He sent the most loving cat to my office door. She showed up out of nowhere. This cat has not left my side. She throws herself against my legs, is climbing on my lap as I am working and yes I get to feel her cold nose as she rubs her little head against my hand. And as I am writing this, she has curled up in a ball on a chair and is fast asleep. A sight I have not seen in 2 years. My heart is full right now.

God has also used this opportunity for me to speak with a lost soul, a stripper, who is staying in the room next door to my office. She has 2 cats with her and having cats in common opened a door for me to talk to her about Him. GO GOD! You never stop amazing me!

THANK YOU GOD FOR SPRINKLING A LITTLE SUNSHINE ON ME TODAY. I LOVE YOU AND THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME HOW MUCH YOU LOVE ME TOO.

WHAT MAKES A "FREAK" A "FREAK"

2009-06-22T14:07:00.000-07:00

As a Christ follower, it breaks my heart (I can actually physically feel it breaking) when I talk to my Dad and hear how far from God he is. You know what I mean; he has that “worldly” outlook. I know what that is and sometimes I just want to shake him into a believer!

I remember being just like him. He has complete incomprehension of who Jesus is and he only knows Him through a non-practicing Catholic’s eyes. And the mere mention of His name prompts the rolling of the eyes and the utter of “OMGoodness, what a Freak.”

My dad thinks my sister and I have been brainwashed and every day that goes by he thinks we are drinking more and more Kool-Aid. I think he thinks “what could have happened to them down there in that crazy state of Florida that would make them into these Freaks who need God?”

OK, let’s think about this for a minute…..which one of these describes a Freak?

Living life on our own, struggling through “circumstances”, trying to control them, feeling defeated when whatever’s gonna happen will happen anyway, which leaves us trying to control the next circumstance, only to eventually fall on our face.

Or

Living life depending on God, who sent His Son to take the heat for us by dying in our place, who loves us, gave us the Holy Spirit to guide us, teach us and help us in all those same “circumstances.”

HMMM…Doesn’t take a brain surgeon….or maybe it does….

I'm sure you have someone, or many someones in your life like my dad...let's pray this prayer for those lost people in our lives that we love so much....

God, I love my (dad)… please give me the wisdom and the words to keep talking to him about you…and please let your light shine through me just enough for his eyes to acclimate to it...and please help him figure out what a "freak" really is....In Jesus name, Amen.

MONDAY MORNING'S PRAYER

2009-06-08T05:11:00.001-07:00

God,

Take me where You want me, use me where You need me.

Give me a panoramic view to see those who do not know You, who need to, and the wisdom and the words I need to show them who You are.

In Jesus Name...Amen.

JOHN 3:16

2009-05-06T11:17:00.000-07:00

While reading this story, I thought about when I met Jesus. Just like the young boy in the story, I didn't know things could be any different. I was plugging along, dealing with life the only way I knew how. Most of the time feeling beaten down by my circumstances, the ones I created and even the ones I didn't.

When you figure out the difference between going it alone or with Jesus by your side, is to finally figure out what the true meaning of peace is.

I've said this before and I mean it from the depths of my soul....coming from someone who did not know Him for most of my life, the difference is so worth seeking!

A little boy was selling newspapers on the corner. He was so cold that he wasn't trying to sell many papers.

He walked up to a policeman and said, 'Mister, you wouldn't happen to know where a poor boy could find a warm place to sleep tonight would you? You see, I sleep in a box up around the corner there and down the alley and it's awful cold in there for tonight. Sure would be nice to have a warm place to stay.

The policeman looked down at the little boy and said, 'You go down the street to that big white house and you knock on the door. When they come out the door you just say John 3:16, and they will let you in.'

So he did. He walked up the steps and knocked on the door, and a lady answered. He looked up and said, ' John 3:16.' The lady said, 'Come on in, Son.'

She took him in and she sat him down in a split bottom rocker in front of a great big old fireplace, and she went off. The boy sat there for a while and thought to himself: John 3:16...I don't understand it, but it sure makes a cold boy warm.

Later she came back and asked him 'Are you hungry?' He said, 'Well, just a little. I haven't eaten in a couple of days. ' The lady took him in the kitchen and sat him down to a table full of wonderful food. He ate and ate until he couldn't eat any more.. Then he thought to himself: John 3:16...Boy, I sure don't understand it but it sure makes a hungry boy full.

She took him upstairs to a bathroom to a huge bathtub filled with warm water, and he sat there and soaked for a while. As he soaked, he thought to himself: John 3:16... I sure don't understand it, but it sure makes a dirty boy clean. You know, I've not had a bath, a real bath, in my whole life. The only bath I ever had was when I stood in front of that big old fire hydrant as they flushed it out.

The lady came in and got him. She took him to a room, tucked him into a big old feather bed, pulled the covers up around his neck, kissed him goodnight and turned out the lights. As he lay in the darkness and looked out the window at the snow coming down on that cold night, he thought to himself: John 3:16...I don't understand it but it sure makes a tired boy rested.

The next morning the lady came back up and took him down again to that same big table full of food. After he ate, she took him back to that same big old split bottom rocker in front of the fireplace and picked up a big old Bible. She sat down in front of him and looked into his young face. 'Do you understand John 3:16?' she asked gently. He replied, 'No, Ma'am, I don't. The first time I ever heard it was last night when the policeman told me to use it,' She opened the Bible to John 3:16 and began to explain to him about Jesus. Right there, in front of that big old fireplace, he gave his heart and life to Jesus . He sat there and thought: John 3:16 -- don't understand it, but it sure makes a lost boy feel safe.

DEFINED......

2009-05-06T04:21:00.000-07:00

Never let your past define you.

Never let others define you.

Don't try to define yourself.

We are made in the image of God, so our answer is not in the world.

When we discover who God is, that is when we can truly understand and DEFINE who we are.

Gr8ful

2009-03-25T14:00:00.000-07:00

Sometimes life throws curveballs. In the wake of those curveballs I sometimes find it easy to feel sorry for myself. And I have found myself saying maybe God has forgotten all the other things I have had to endure and surely He didn’t mean to give me this too.

Then I slap myself….And I remember all the AWESOME things He has given me.

Like….Eternal life with Him

Like….A mom I could not have special ordered any better.

Like….A sister who is my best friend.

Like….A family who I love very much and who loves me back

Like….My Christyann (my cat a/k/a love of my life) who I got to love for 18 years

Like….When I had cancer, He healed me through surgery and delivered me from having to have chemo or radiation.

Like…..Amazing friends that I get to do life with.

Like…..Flamingo Road Church and a Pastor who has an amazing way of stretching us all to reach our God Potential.

Like…..a burning desire to introduce Jesus to all who do not know Him!!

Whenever I feel sorry for myself, I will remind myself of the ways my God loves me.

What are you Gr8ful for?

THE ONE TRUE LIGHT

2009-03-11T12:29:00.000-07:00

Last weekend my Pastor taught on Mark 2, where Jesus heals the paralyzed man. I’ve heard this taught before and I’ve also studied it myself, but after listening to Pastor Troy, something changed inside of me….I see the world differently, recognizing how many people are actually paralyzed.

As Pastor Troy said, “We need Jesus, it all starts there.” And the sad part is most people don’t know Him. They don’t even know that they are paralyzed; much less know that Jesus can heal them. They think that this is JUST the way life is and they JUST have to deal with it…struggling on their own. I know this because I use to be one of those people.

I had a conversation with someone yesterday who reminded me a lot of how I used to be, how I use to live, and how I use to see things. Although our circumstances are a little different, the rest is so right on.

Struggles with smoking….quitting….smoking…Get It? Body image, boyfriend (and having sex), being raised catholic and not wanting anything to do with God, not knowing anything about Him except the perception of a ceremonial and punishing God, and being lost, insecure and scared…..in other words, PARALYZED and not even knowing it. And unfortunately we may also be paralyzing our children as well.

There are so many beautiful people, who are children of God and whom Jesus died for, living in darkness and have no idea that He is waiting to heal them with open arms. As a Christ follower, I know His arms because I have experienced them. It is a burden on my heart to see so many paralyzed people who live in the dark by themselves. They are constantly feeling around for a temporary light switch that never stays lit. We need to find a way to show them the ONE TRUE LIGHT. We must never give up on them….it is a matter of their LIFE or DEATH. It is a matter of their ETERNITY.

Father, please give me a panoramic view of all that is around me. Of all the hurting people who do not know You. God, please shine your light through me and give me the words to help them see. In Jesus name, Amen.

WE NEED HIM

2009-03-03T11:54:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine said to me the other day about life….”If it were easy, we wouldn’t need God”.

Wow, how true is that! Now I have heard this before, but for some reason it really spoke to me this time. Although at times my Flesh Woman, as author Joanna Weaver calls her, insists she’s in control, I am so thankful that in all actuality she/I am not, because it makes me run to Him.

Isn’t it exhausting to try to figure out all the unknown things in life? To try to control everything before it happens, as its happening and its outcome as well. Leaving that up to God is so freeing. Realizing that He is a mighty God and whatever is unknown to us, is completely in His control and He always knows what’s best….because I think we have proven over and over that we absolutely cannot do this thing called life on our own.

Thanks God for creating us with this need for You. And I humbly thank You for Your patience in waiting for me to figure that out. I love You.

GETTING LOST

2009-03-03T11:08:00.000-08:00

When I became a Christ Follower I thought my life would just “fall into place” as many of us do. We become on fire for God and His Word and think now I have the power to ward off all the bad things that may come my way. NOT TRUE. Bad things happen to people, even Christ followers. (Some may even say ESPECIALLY Christ followers)

What I have discovered is that we need to pray, study, and even memorize scripture in order to be well prepared when “stuff” happens. Ephesians 6:17-18

17 Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.

But even the most God honoring Christians get lost. Something happens in their lives that make them turn from God. Our enemy senses pain and immediately starts throwing out thoughts like…”If God cared for you this wouldn’t have happened” or “How can God do this to such an obedient servant like you after all the years you have dedicated to Him?” And because we are weak, we start to believe these lies and we become angry at God and/or blame Him for what has happened.

Recently I have met several people who have had a betrayal in their lives. Each one describes the pain to be very similar, followed by this intense anger, much of which is self destructive. It is so easy to fall back into the worldly ways of partying and playing, staying away from church or anyone who has to do with it.

I find it so sad to see someone who has a beautiful life waste it away by holding on to this anger and staying stuck in the victim roll. I have done that for so much of my life. It became so easy to blame my outside circumstances on my worth as a person, allowing someone else’s actions to dictate how I feel about me, my life or especially my God.

God has an awesome plan for all of us. A future that He has planned out for each and every one of us….but it is impossible for Him to give us our future, if we are so filled with our past. Let’s let the past anger go, learn from it and maybe even take responsibility for some of it….and then watch God perform.

Matthew 11:28-29 Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.

STRETCH, STRETCH, STRETCH

2009-02-13T04:36:00.000-08:00

The stretching continues....God is so stretching me....it's a little scary, but I trust that He knows what He is doing. My prayer for today is...

God I only want to go where You want me to go. I only want to serve where You want me to serve. Grant me the understanding into Your Heart so that I may choose wisely the options you set before me. Give me a clear picture and a PANORAMIC view of how I can serve You and Your Kingdom all the rest of my days. Amen

MY FAVORITE POEM

2009-01-28T08:08:00.000-08:00

Christians by Maya Angelou

"A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her."

When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not shouting I'm clean livin' I'm whispering I was lost, Now I'm found and forgiven.
When I say... "I am a Christian" I don't speak of this with pride. I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.
When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not trying to be strong. I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.
When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not bragging of success. I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.
When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not claiming to be perfect, My flaws are far too visible but, God believes I am worth it.
When I say... "I am a Christian" I still feel the sting of pain.. I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.
When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not holier than thou, I'm just a simple sinner Who received God's good grace, somehow!

WRESTLING

2009-01-26T08:33:00.000-08:00

I feel this wrestling going on inside of me…I am a leader in a ministry where I am an example to many…an example on how to be the best me I can be for God. As Christians, we strive to be Christ like. We will never be perfect, but our goal is to become more Christ like every day, to die to the flesh and to come to the realization that He is all we need.

Paul says, when we belong to Christ, the old life is gone and a new life has begun. Sometimes I feel like such a hypocrite, feeling as if I am in a struggle with my worldly desires and my desire to be Christ like. Could it be that maybe I am not strong enough yet in Christ to turn from my selfish ways, my human-ness.

Perhaps we will always be somewhat in our worldly ways, but this is not where I want to be…I want to live out Phil 3:10 “My determined purpose is that I may know Him, that may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving & recognizing & understanding the Wonders of His Person.”

I know, like I know, like I know, from the depths of my soul that Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life….and that there are many who do not know Him. Many who do not have any idea the sacrifice He made for them. This idea that there are many ways to heaven I am sure makes Him weep. It is the duty of those of us who know him, to bring the Good News to those whom do not. Not to force them to believe, but to give them the opportunity to be saved. This is what God asks of us as believers, to help Him in bringing the lost home.

This is what I believe and my intention is to live out Phil 3:10. And in doing that I can become a better tool for God to use, a light for others to see, a bearer of the Best News that everyone needs to hear.

THE VINE

2009-01-22T13:33:00.000-08:00

I am reading “Secrets of the Vine”. I LOVE this book. This is one of those little books that is sooooo deep that you have to read pages 3 or 4 times, sit, think and then let it sink in, just to be sure you are understanding ALL of the information. WOW! I love that!

The book breaks down John 15 where Jesus teaches about the Vine and the Branches…the whole book fascinates me, but there is a section which talks about Pruning and that is the season of life I am in right now. And pruning can be painful!

The book says “If your life bears some fruit, God will intervene to prune you….If necessary, He will risk your misunderstanding of His methods and motives. His purpose is for you to cut away immature commitments and lesser priorities to make room for even greater abundance for His glory”.

Pruning…Ouch…It can hurt, but it doesn’t have to be so painful…. if we can remember that it’s about God asking us to let go of things that keep us from reaching our God Potential. We need to ask Him to show us what he wants us to let go of and trust in Him enough to give it to Him. Easier said than done, right? You’re not kidding!

In every single area of my life right now I am uncomfortable. Coming from a girl who loves comfort, it’s as scary as scary gets. I see Him pruning every single corner of my being. On one hand, I want to get in bed and pull the covers over my head and hide. But on the other hand, it is so cool to know that God loves me so much that He will not leave me alone, EVER.

I use to think that there was this place that I needed to get to…this place that I had to strive for and work hard to reach and there would lay my happiness….Well, when we come to know God we realize that when it comes to testing our faith and we conquer the hurdle, up pops another one. And each hurdle is harder to conquer than the last. It’s all about growing. Hardly seems fair…but I have to trust in Him and remember that He is shaping me for a new season in my life, a season that will have His hands all over it. And even though I may not be able to see it with my eyes right now, I can feel it in my heart….And I can hardly wait!!!

TIMING

2009-01-03T09:19:00.000-08:00

Solomon says that there is a Time for Everything and that God has a plan for all people.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

1 For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. 2 A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. 3 A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. 4 A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. 5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away. 6 A time to search and a time to quit searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away. 7 A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak. 8 A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace.

This, as you can probably imagine because of control issues, is very difficult for me to just let be. Timing is so important….but most important is God’s timing….Most important indeed, but proves to be Most Difficult for me to wait for. Now I know that to discover God’s perfect timing is to discover the secret to peace. And to rebel or move ahead in our own timing will, well, bring eventual despair.

My life has always been about seeing something I want and going for it. I mean, this is what I’ve learned. See it, set a goal, work toward it, and go get it. Sounds logical right? Yes, in a worldly way and until now, my way. I imagine Jesus so many times looking at me, with His head in His hand, shaking His head and saying…"Jena, Jena, Jena, how many times do I have to give this to you before you GET IT?? Seek My Will in all you do and I will show you which path to take."

But what do I do? What most of us do. When something we want gets our attention, we will find every reason to convince ourselves that God must have put it there. And He very well may have. But maybe not for the reasons you think. What we do is go full force toward it, blinding ourselves to what He may be teaching us, because all we can focus on is the end result. What we need to do is OPEN OUR EYES to all that is around us. Allow ourselves to learn and grow from every experience. Sometimes God’s end result is very different than ours. Sometimes unanswered prayers are God’s blessings. Or sometimes the answer is “not now” because you have too much to learn first.

In any case, His timing will always prove to be perfect. I have tried to control every outcome in my life my way. All that has done is exhaust me. We all need to learn to say AND MEAN….Your Will not mine and then we WILL find the PEACE AND JOY He has always intended for us.

Let all that I am wait quietly before You God, for my hope is in You.
You alone are my Rock and my Salvation, my Fortress where I will not be shaken.
My victory and honor come from You alone.
You are my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me. (Pslam 62:5-7)

FOCUS

2008-11-26T10:24:00.000-08:00

I am a thinker.... I have a tendency to over analyze things. If you are familiar with my blog, you already know that I struggle with living in today because I am too busy thinking about tomorrow. I am not an “in the moment” type chick. When a situation arises, I think about how it will affect my future.

Now on one hand that can be a good thing, but having to know all the answers can not only be exhausting, it can be defeating. It stops me from enjoying the “now” because I am stuck in tomorrow.

The tricky part of all this is that through our human-ness we can convince ourselves that a particular situation is good for us because WE want it to be. But what we need to remember is that God knows what is best for us and what we want may not always be best. Putting God’s voice before ours takes FOCUS, PRAYER and LISTENING. In these seasons of life, it is not only our voice we need to silence, we need to silence the cunning voice of the enemy. Our advocate sometimes disguises his voice to trip us up, hoping we will stumble.

Today God brought me to Psalm 73:23-26

Yet I still belong to you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny. Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.

We are human. It is inevitable that we will, at times, come up against things that threaten to make us stumble. At those times, I will remember that I have a Mighty God who never lets go of my hand.

TRUTH

2008-11-13T12:57:00.000-08:00

Last night I heard a bonus teaching from my Pastor. We are in the middle of our Wednesday night Interactive Journey called GEARS at Flamingo Road Church and Pastor Troy taught part of last night’s lesson. I have heard him teach many, many times and I always walk away with something awesome.

Lately I have been a little frustrated with some of the conversations I’ve been having with a few people in my life, conversations about the Bible and what’s in it. Me saying that it is truth and others picking and choosing…and they are wondering why they are wandering around lost and confused. This drives me utterly crazy. And then Bam, Pastor Troy busts out with this last night.

“There comes a time in your life when you are going to have to wrestle with whether or not you believe that what is in the Bible is true, not just some of it, not just the parts you like, but all of it. And that will determine how close of a relationship you will have with God”.

There it is…in plain words to understand…this Book, His Word, His Wisdom is how He speaks to us. God’s knocking, all you have to do is let Him in. In doing that, He will fill that “God shaped” hole you have inside you and He will be the Navigation System for your life.

Matthew 6:33 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else and live righteously and he will give you everything you need.

Seek Him in His Word…and you will find everything you need. Everything.

Facing GIANTS

2008-10-10T10:27:00.000-07:00

Lately God has put so many people in front of me who do not know Him...and I feel so privileged and honored that He is choosing to use me in such an important way. I just know He is giving me the seeds to plant… and He will water them.

But I have to say that nothing hurts my heart more than hearing someone say to me that they are a true atheist. And then to hear of all the “Giants” in their lives makes me so sad. It’s sad to me because I now know the difference between facing “Giants” without God in your life and facing them with God in your life.

My Pastor taught on this very thing recently. He taught three things about Giants.

1) Giants don’t surrender, you’ve got to take them out
2) Giants see you the way you see you
3) Giants are not giants compared to God

Compared to you that disease is overwhelming. Maybe that financial struggle is so big that you can not even imagine getting through it. Or your relationship seems beyond repair. But with God, these giants are not so big.

Casting Crowns song “Voice of Truth” says

The giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me reminding me of all the timesI tried before and failed...the giants keep on telling me time and time again,"Boy, you'll never win"

But the stone was just the right size to put the giant on the ground and the waves they don't seem so high from on top of them lookin' down. I will soar with the wings of eagles when I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus singing over me

If you do not know God, it seems impossible to understand this. Coming from someone who did not know Him for most of my life, the difference is worth seeking. The end result is not never having giants, but facing those giants with the amour and the confidence to “take them out”.

Seems to me, gaining all the equipment we need for living the lives we want starts first by simply seeking…..

GO GOD!!!!

2008-10-01T12:01:00.000-07:00

I have been WOWed by God in so many ways recently. The verse “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalms 46:10) is one of my favorites…

I have seen God work “BIG TIME” in a family’s life that I love very much. Their lives were in so much turmoil. But they stayed obedient, trusting and faithful to God and together we have been watching Him perform. Even as I am writing this, He is taking a situation that seemed to have no light and He is showing us how, if you truly give it to Him, He will shine. And through this I have seen lessons learned, relationships being repaired, and a financial struggle slowly coming around.

I feel so privileged that He allowed me to be a part of seeing Him do one of the many things He does best…. Take care of His children. GO GOD!!!

TANGIBLE

2008-09-16T12:10:00.000-07:00

I am someone who has always strived to live with as much stability and security as I could possibly find. I have always had to have all my ducks in a row. Everything in my life had to be tangible. If I couldn’t see it or touch it, it wasn’t real. This way of thinking made me a complete control freak. I had to do everything myself because I couldn’t see the end result unless I could see all the details that went into the journey.

In my relationships I took care of everything. The finances, the vacation plans, big purchases, etc. After a while of doing EVERYTHING, I would then get angry that they were not doing anything. Suddenly it became their fault that I was handling it all….Like I would have had it any other way. AS I SAID, A COMPLETE CONTROL FREAK.

This is one of the reasons it took me so long to find God. I couldn’t see Him or touch Him. He wasn’t tangible to me, so how could He be real?

By His awesome grace, I have come to realize that my most stability and security come from the One I can not see or touch, but wow I can feel Him everywhere from the inside out. He taught me to live by believing and not by seeing. (2 Corinthians 5:7)

Let Him in and watch everything change.

CHALLENGES PART II

2008-08-15T13:45:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I talked about my challenge as a sister, and today I want to talk about my challenges as a leader. Satan has definitely tried his best to get the best of me this week.

One thing I have learned in my life is that leadership, once you embrace it, can be challenging to say the very least. And I’ve come to realize that this is especially true in Ministry. Most people who are truly called to ministry have a servant’s heart. And most are passionate about that. I know I am. My heart is so on fire for God, and the desire to bring as many people as I can to Jesus, that it can be overwhelming sometimes. But knowing how their lives will change once they know Him is definitely worth it.

Being a leader who has this passion for Jesus, I sometimes find myself disappointed when some who already know Him do not feel the desire to give their best to Him. I mean, we all fall short, but do we really strive to give Him all that He desires and deserves from us?

Yesterday, I was feeling defeated. But as my mother always told me (even before I came to know God and I thought she was crazy) that if you listen, God will speak to you. And let me tell you, she was right. In my relationship with Him, He has spoken to me on many occasions. Sometimes He whispers and sometimes He’s loud and clear. Personally I am not so good with the whispers, I prefer the LOUD AND CLEAR.

Yesterday my devotion took me to John 21:17 “DO YOU LOVE ME?...FEED MY SHEEP”. And I realized that Jesus was the perfect Shepard, I on the other hand am not. Sheep can be trying and the only thing that will keep us focused on “FEEDING HIS SHEEP” is our love for Him.

So when I get DISCOURAGED with the sheep, I will remember to FOCUS on Him.

CHALLENGES

2008-08-14T13:22:00.000-07:00

This has been a challenging week for me both as a leader and as a sister. Today I will talk about my challenge as a sister.

My sister is probably the most important person in the world to me and this week she has been going through a lot of pain due to an infection. Now I can take many things that are thrown at me in life, but I have to say that dealing with my sister’s pain is one of the most difficult. I am very protective of the people I love, especially my sister.

She and I were in the doctor’s office waiting for him to see us and we were talking about how different our lives are since we became Christ followers. Earlier that morning as soon as I received the phone call about the infection, I began my quest to get to her and then I called a friend who immediately called her to pray with her. I called another friend who began to comfort me, and then she sent out a prayer request for my sister. The support was coming in from all sides. Comforting support, not hysterical support because all of us knew that we needed to pray and give it to God to work out. This kept me in check. I was concerned, even a little scared, but I was strangely at ease.

In the past I would have been a wreck, trying to control the situation. And because I would not have been able to control it, I couldn’t have been strong for her because I would have been falling apart myself. But this day while waiting in that office, I remembered I had ordered and received a little booklet called “Navigating the Storms of Life” and it was in my purse. So I took it out and started to read it to her. This book concentrates a lot on the Book of Job. And as only God can do, and has done countless times in my journey, He found a way to let us know that He can always be trusted even when we don’t understand. Even though we were scared and she was in great pain, as I read page after page, God was speaking to us and teaching us that “in the face of unexplained and unexplainable tragedies, to fix our eyes on Him”.

It truly amazes me how I went through 40 years of my life without God and today I can’t even imagine going one minute without Him. He has given us each other and an amazing family, amazing friends, amazing mentors…amazing people to do life with.

HE IS THE AMAZING GOD.

FATHER

2008-08-05T13:00:00.000-07:00

I would like to start this post called “Father” by saying that God has blessed me with the most amazing mother in the world…He pulled out all the stops in choosing her…I LOVE YOU MOM!

I become such mush when I see a dad taking care of his baby girl. He could walk by me in the mall pushing a stroller and I get tears in my eyes. And if I see it in a Hallmark commercial, forget it I’m toast. Crazy I’m not (well at least I don’t think I am) but crazy for the idea of a daddy being a daddy, yea definitely. Even better is seeing the little girl’s face light up when daddy loves on her. Coolest scene ever!

I’ve been reading this PDF called “Jesus' blueprint for prayer” and as usual He refers to God as Father and I thought… wow Father. Obviously I have read this term many times before, but for some reason this time it got my attention. I thought, I need to refer to God as Father. So the next time I started to pray, I started off “Dear Father” but it did not feel right to me. I really had to think about this. Then a couple of days later I read a story in the book I am reading “One Month to Live” about a father and his child, how much he loves his child, and how much our Father God loves us. And it hit me, I love God, but I just did not feel I could address Him as Father…why?

I have always seen the term Father in a derogatory way. And I would never want to feel that when I am speaking to God. You see, as children, my sister and I did not have the best experiences with our father. He was kind of on the absentee side. He was there, but not really. His favorite words are “I am who I am and you know me, I’m never going to change.” Through my adult eyes, I feel sorry for him and all that he missed out on. But my inner child seemed to always feel this small sense of regret that I never had a daddy. I always wondered what it would have been like to have that influence in my life. Would I have chosen relationships differently? Would I have been able to trust easier? Would I have been such a control freak? Who knows, but all of those things and my experiences so far have made me who I am.

Because of the yearning for my father, I had always had this big hole inside of me that I could never fill. My choices in men were never good for me and unfortunately each time I would get into a relationship, subconsciously I would expect that person to fill that gaping hole. And when they couldn’t (not that anyone person could), I would feel even emptier than before. I would even destroy the relationship without knowing why. Now trust me, although in most cases destroying those relationships was actually a good thing, each time I did it was more devastating to me than the last. I had this horrible loneliness and sense of failure that was eating me away.

What I didn’t realize is that only God can fill that hole. He is really all we need and everything else is secondary. This is not only something I know, this is something I feel. That hole is gone because my Heavenly Father has filled it. He really is the only One I need. But because of His filling that hole, I am no longer empty and I am free. Free to be the best Jena I can be for Him, free to forgive my dad and love him for who he is, after all God gave us each other for a reason. And I am free to love the Prince that my Heavenly Father will bring me when the time is right. HOW COOL IS THAT!!! Now I can say with all the love inside me…

Dear Father, thank you for all that you have blessed me with.

FOLLOWING SCRIPTURE ?

2008-07-30T12:15:00.001-07:00

Something that has been on my heart lately is how Christians struggle with following scripture. We have a tendency to want to revise scripture to fit our lives instead of the other way around. The following quote says it all for me…

“God’s Word is to be obeyed by His people. We’re the ones who need to be “revised”—not the Scriptures.” — Anne Cetas

This spoke to me on so many levels. One of the things we would like to revise is what the Bible tells to us about sex. As living breathing human beings, most people would love this part of the Bible to be one of those things we can leave up to interpretation.
I think this struggle is felt by many. The idea of being with someone of the opposite sex and not being with them physically seems completely unnatural...And the way God made us, this is very true. God made sex awesome, but within the confines of marriage. Why?

Here’s what the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 6:18-20, 7:2-4

Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.

But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.

If you really study scripture and try to understand His reasoning for this, it plays out all over this Universe. Not only does sex have physical dangers and unwanted pregnancies, but it also has emotional dangers. As hard as it is to not have that physical contact with someone you care about and are attracted to...giving that part of you to person after person is not what God intended. And if you are not married, you are not committing that "that person" will be the only one. Because of that, as human beings, we will never fully give ourselves, inside and out to that person. I mean most of us have trust issues and don't let just anyone in too closely. Should you be having something as awesome and intimate as sex when you can't GIVE yourself to that person? Don't you think that if you are getting to know this person from the inside out, I mean really know this person by spending quality time doing so, you would be able to build a trust and a closeness that you have never had before with anyone...so when you do get married and your bodies come together, it will be so amazing because you’ll love and trust that person enough to give them 100% of you. But if you are getting to know this person from the outside in, you probably will not be able to give them all of you because you may never be able to trust them fully.

I believe that if we are disciplined and obedient to God, and seek God based relationships, He will bless us in every way. And our relationships will flourish the way He intended.

Isn’t trying to revise scripture, any scripture, to fit our lives telling our Almighty Father that we don’t trust Him enough to know what is best for us. I believe if we use the “Owners Manual” He gave us and follow His word, we will always stay in GREAT shape.

SEEKING FORGIVENESS

2008-07-23T07:59:00.000-07:00

Did you ever wonder why sometimes you pray and pray and nothing is happening? You are studying the bible, going to church and your part of a small group and yet you are still stuck with these thoughts in your head about yourself that you cannot get past.

My question is…are you sharing these things with God? Are you sharing them with someone you’re doing life with? It is impossible for God to pour his light on you if you have your umbrella up. Please think about this. You cannot go through life alone. Everyone needs someone to share things with. We all have made decisions in our lives that we either regret or are ashamed of, or both. We have all done things that we look back on and say “WHAT WAS I THINKING.”

The first thing we need to do is trust in God and ask Him for forgiveness. And then we need to forgive ourselves. The bible says in 1 John 1:7-9

But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin. If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living the truth. But if we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.

The ACT of asking for forgiveness seems easy enough. But actually letting go and giving it to God is a totally different story. I mean the bible says to confess and ask for forgiveness and you will receive it. But do we trust that God can forgive us for these “things” we did? How can we when we can’t even forgive ourselves? We harbor this guilt, this heavy load of “stuff” around with us. Not to dare tell a soul. What would they think? How could I ever trust anyone with my secrets? So we carry them around and they fester and eat away at the very core of our being. By doing this we are keeping God at arms length and telling Him that He is not big enough to heal us, or even worse, that we don’t trust Him to.

I hope you listen to my heart on this; God wants you to talk to Him. He wants you to seek a relationship with Him. He sent his Son here to die for you to make you right with Him. He put people in your life for a reason; so don’t be afraid to open up. Please give your “stuff” to God and then talk to someone you trust, a pastor, a family member, a friend. Confide in someone so they can help you to begin to forgive yourself and move forward with this amazing life that God has given you. Please don’t let one more minute go by while living in doubt and unforgiveness.

I know how long it took me to understand this and I when I did, I gave the Holy Spirit the room to dance. Don’t miss this dance, it is so amazing. To be free of the demons that haunt us begins with trusting God and continues with doing life with the people He blesses us with.

John 8:12 “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life.”

ABOUT ME

2008-07-17T17:52:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine mentioned to me today that in my description of myself on my blog, I describe myself as Fun and Silly, and my blogging is so serious....she is absolutely correct...Honestly, I am the writer but I am not the Producer or the Director. God puts these things on my heart and they just pour out of me.

This is all so new to me and I am not sure what it all means, but one thing I do know is that I have this deep desire to help the lost people of this planet. I know what it feels like not to have "a passion, a purpose, a meaning to life" and I also know what it feels like to have all those things. And the latter side of the street is so worth seeking.

I believe that the things that I've gone through in my life are things that God wants me to share. To maybe help someone who needs to know that they are not alone in their pain, their lonliness or even in the midst of their undeserved problems. That God's love can conquer all, but first we have to seek Him. I pray that God always keeps me humble so that the love of Jesus will shine through me to others.

I really am a funny, silly person...some would even say a little Goofy! But sometimes the passion God puts in your heart is serious business....Thanks for reading my blog and please share it, you never know who may need to read it.

LOST AND FOUND

2008-07-16T17:33:00.000-07:00

The closer I get to God the more it pains me to see people who are so far from Him. We travel so many roads, wandering around looking for “peace”. There are times we don’t even know that peace is not in our lives because unless we have a relationship with God, we don’t really know what peace feels like. I know this from my own personal experience. I have walked through my life “just existing”. Working every day, sometimes playing, getting things done that need to be done, preparing for tomorrow, and then time to sleep in order to start all over again.

Now with or without God in your life this can be a typical day. But the difference is without God there is no meaning behind any of this. It’s just getting through another day to get to the next, maybe looking forward to some special occasion down the road.

On the other hand, with God in your life, it really does make much more sense. What I realized is that we have a loving God who has a purpose for each of us and when I applied that knowledge to my every day life, it made a world of difference. Someone once told me that when things may not be going well at your job, remember you do not work for your boss, you work for God. The money we make is not ours; it’s on loan from God. As my Pastor says “God is the All Powerful, All Knowing, Everywhere at one time God”. WOW, and what do we do? We try to reduce Him to mere human thinking. We try to explain His way of thinking though our human mind.

Why is it that we believe in God only when it is convenient for us. We break out the prayers after the important job interview, for the test results to be in our favor, for a loved one to be ok, or maybe for help in our financial difficulties. Even if you don’t believe in what some call “this so called God”, most people believe in a higher power, a power that created us.

Why wouldn’t you want to believe that higher power is our loving God? We were created in His image and given free will to do as we please with our lives. With this freedom, we walk blindly through life trying to figure it out, making mistake after mistake and paying the consequences. Why it so far fetched to believe that there is a book out there that has the answers to lead us to a full life. I mean give it a try; what could be stopping you. Reading it may actually teach us a thing or two.

Why is it so hard to understand that God would send Jesus to sacrifice Himself to save us from ourselves? Is it really that hard to see that He would love us that much…He created us…wouldn’t you do anything for your children…need I say more.

I would like to challenge everyone reading this to talk to God today. Ask him to open your mind to what Jesus did for you. Don’t let the suffering that Jesus did be in vain. He suffered for you to bring you Home. Allow him into your everyday life and see what a difference a day makes. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain…I promise.

THANK YOU

2008-07-14T11:39:00.000-07:00

Recently I have come to see how my walk with God is changing me…I mean I see it in my every day life in so many ways, which is really cool, but last week I went through a trying time. Something that was very scary for me, something with my health.

In the past, I would have completely freaked out. I would have immediately gone to “doom” in my mind. I would have sat in my house, in the dark, with the covers over my head losing precious days of my life. But I felt God’s arms around me, loving me through it. I felt that no matter the outcome, my God is with me, always, holding my hand, comforting me and He has a purpose for whatever the situation may be. So I was able to “live my life” without losing a day to “the doom”. James 12-4,[a] when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. 3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

I really had to step back and look at myself to see who it was standing in my shoes. I myself could not believe it was me. Now I’m not going to lie, I was scared; I had butterflies in my stomach. After all, I have experienced physical pain and it is not pleasant and no one wants to suffer, but I also can look back on my experiences and see so many things. I now believe with all my heart that we go through things to get us where we are going, to bring us closer to God and to our God Potential. We, a lot of times, are scared, we don’t understand all that God asks us to carry, but the fact that He asks us is a privilege.

A friend of mine just told me a story about a man who was dying of cancer and through his suffering, instead of complaining, he said that he was honored that God chose him and his cancer to reach others. He never stopped talking to people, even from his death bed, about the Good News and how awesome God is. And through his selflessness, many were saved. Just like Jesus who willingly suffered and died for our salvation.

To be Christ like is not easy, but it is what we are called to do. It is much easier to conform to this world than to conform to Jesus. The flesh is drawn to all the temptation around us, but here is what Scripture says in Romans 12:2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

God has given me so much in my life and through this recent experience, He gave me even more. He has shown me that I have come so far in my walk with Him and He has shown me how much He has changed me from the inside out and to that I say WOW.

And He has given me a family of people who NEVER LEFT MY SIDE. I have my amazing friends, my biological family, and my FRC family. Thank you to each and every one of you for loving me, praying for me, and comforting me though this. You are awesome examples of “Christ Followers” and of being “Christ Like”. I love you guys and I thank God that He loved me enough to put you in my life.

God is truly amazing…the outcome of this experience turned out great in every way and to Him I give all the glory.

WORRY

2008-07-07T20:15:00.000-07:00

I can be such a worrier. I have found myself at times “thinking” myself into a panic.

I have spent a lot of my life questioning God and His abilities. I had no idea what it meant to “Let go and Let God”. I heard this, but had absolutely no idea what it meant or how to do it. In our minds there are so many things in this life to worry about. And we don’t believe, for some reason, that God can handle it. It may be a financial burden, a sickness, losing a job. Or it could be facing what seems to be an impossible decision. Somewhere in our path of life we lost our belief (or some of us never had it) in God. That He can do anything. We lose the faith because we want everything to work out the way we want it or see it. Somehow we don’t see by thinking this way, we are actually asking God to give us the control, for Him to follow our lead because our way is much better than His. Then when we think we have the control, here comes the worry. It’s a vicious circle.

Giving your worries to God simply means believing that no matter what the outcome of any situation is, it’s in our best interest. It may not be how we would have done it, but faith is knowing without any doubt that God knows what we need. We may never understand in this life why certain things happen. Sometimes before we get to the outcome, we must first go through lessons learned. God is preparing us, molding us, teaching us, loving us into the people He created us to be.

What I tell myself now when I start to worry is that God has big shoulders and He can handle this worry for me. That each time I feel that I have something to worry about, it could be Him testing me to see if I will give it to Him…. if I love and trust Him enough to take it from me…And I never want God to see my actions as anything else but LOVE for Him

Mark 9:23

23 “What do you mean, ‘If I can’?” Jesus asked. “Anything is possible if a person believes.”

Matthew 6:25-34

25 “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? 27 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?

28 “And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, 29 yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. 30 And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?
31 “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ 32 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. 33 Seek the Kingdom of God[a] above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

34 “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today

These are the verses God has sent me to rest upon when I start to worry. As I meditate on His scripture, I know that He loves me and He will take care of me, ALWAYS

Volunteering

2008-07-01T09:54:00.000-07:00

I would like to share a little about how I became involved with Flamingo Road Church and the First Impressions Ministry… www.flamingoroadchurch.com

I have not been a true God follower for most of my life…I have always been one to think I could control everything myself. Although I know that it was definitely God who brought me to Him, I truly believe that, me being the stubborn person I am, He needed a few key players for the plan to work…

First of all there’s me….who was, as I said, a control freak…and I was brought to my knees. Then there’s my sister, who literally dragged me to church by my hair and threw me in the door…Then there’s Pastor Troy….someone I truly believe God put in front of me with his Passion and Powerful Message that only he can deliver and brought me to tears. I left church that night swearing I would never return….But I did…and what made me notice FRC was the people.

First there was the parking guy who said hello to me as I walked through the parking lot with my head down….then there was the greeter who took my hand and smiled at me as she welcomed me into the lobby….then there was the 411 person who told me so kindly where I needed to go…along came an usher who saw me sitting in the back of the church by myself and asked me if there was someone he could help me find and when I said no, he sat with me….then there was Pastor Troy with another message that reached deep down inside of me and made me see how life without Jesus was just not worth living……

Ever since that day, the day I accepted Jesus into my heart, I have felt a sense of peace and hope that I have never experienced in all of my life. And I have wanted, ever since that day, to share that with every single person I see. I know you know that feeling…that indescribable feeling that only a Christ Follower knows. As volunteers we are part of helping every person who walks into FRC have the chance to have that feeling….we already have helped many….We have an AMAZING LEADER that God Himself has given us. Pastor Troy delivers a message each and every week that brings so many people home. We, as volunteers, are getting people ready to listen to that message. Lost people who need to find God and we are helping them on their journey to eternal life.

How amazing is that…I feel, from the bottom of my heart, that volunteering here at FRC is the most important thing I have ever done…If I can help one person go from an empty life to becoming a Christ Follower and feel that amazing feeling that only Jesus can give, I have absolutely done the most important thing I will ever do.

We are growing so rapidly and the more we grow, the more help Pastor Troy needs in bringing people to God and to their God Potential….As volunteers we feel this in our hearts….if we just talk to as many people as possible, we can grow our volunteer staff to many and make an Incredible Kingdom Difference.

One of my favorite verses is Eph 2:8 “God saved you by His grace when you believed” Let’s help take as many people as we can away from the enemy and help bring them to God’s Grace….after all that is what volunteering is all about

Sin, Wisdom, and Skill

2008-06-30T13:43:00.000-07:00

It has been said that this world is ruled, not by God, but by Satan.

Romans 5:12 When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. Adam’s sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned.

All people sin and so they are separated from God. Without Jesus this separation remains. Not only do we have a sinful nature, but we are prone to rebel against God. When sorrow comes into our lives, we blame God. When things don’t go as planned, we blame God.

We blame God for our hardships…thinking that if He loved me, He would make things better. We never think that God may be preparing us today to strengthen us for trouble we may face in the future. Making us more fruitful, stronger spirits to do his work, to spread the Good News and to help him bring people Home.

I never really understood the power of sin and the power of Satan. Satan will tempt constantly, especially if he knows we may be seeking God.

Romans 6:20-21 When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the obligation to do right and now what was the result? You are now ashamed of the things you use to do, things that end in eternal doom.

Let’s think about this….Under Satan’s world, we are free from doing what is right. We think that we are not accountable for what we don’t know. I mean how can we be held responsible for the things we don’t understand. We are afraid of God, of the Bible and what it says. If we don’t know it, we can’t be held accountable to it. So rather than study the Book or seek our Savior we keep sinning and we get deeper and deeper into a life without any hope.

We strive every day to get better jobs, be better parents, better citizens, but we don’t strive for a relationship with Jesus.

Romans 5:15 But there is a great difference between Adam’s sin and God’s gracious gift. For the sin of this one man, Adam, brought death to many. But even greater is God’s wonderful grace and his gift of forgiveness to many through this other man, Jesus Christ.

We want our promotions, more money, more power, better vacations, bigger houses, etc. but so few actually realize that there is something much more important we should be thinking about. I’m sure you have heard this a million times; when you are on your death bed what happens to all those things you strived for your whole life. Imagine it is the last day of your life. You have all your “stuff” around you, all your “Peeps” with you. What does tomorrow look like to you? Where will you be? You see, you spent your whole life living for the bigger, the better, and you forgot to seek the one thing that matters. You forgot to stop, look and listen to your Savior. No matter who you are, Jesus died for you.

We insist, as human beings, to live by seeing and not by believing…but the Bible says the opposite…to live by believing and not by seeing. (2 Corinthians 5:7)

1 Corinthians 1:21, 24-25, 28

Since God in is wisdom saw to it that the world would never know him through human wisdom, He has used our foolish preaching to save those who believe. 24 Christ is the power of God and the wisdom of God. 25 This foolish plan of God is wiser than the wisest of human plans, and God’s weakness is stronger than the greatest of human strength. 28 God chose things despised by the world; things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important.

In other words human skill and human wisdom can not get you to God. Salvation is from God’s grace through the death of Jesus Christ.

Wow, that is powerful. God in all his wisdom knew that we would continue to sin, to continue to rebel against him. This brings us back to the beginning; this world is corrupt by sin and ruled by Satan. As we live our lives and we allow the temptations of our flesh to win, we neglect securing our eternal future with God. Because our egos are so gigantic, we can’t imagine worshiping anyone or anything unless we can see the instant gratification from it. But as a believer, we know what non believers don’t. And that is there is no bigger gratification than having the Holy Spirit live inside of you, guiding you, protecting you, giving you God’s skill and wisdom….and knowing without any doubt that He will bring you home to your Father.

THE HOLY SPIRIT

2008-06-30T12:48:00.002-07:00

What is the Holy Spirit’s roll in helping us discern and walk in the truth?

As Believers, God gives us the Holy Spirit which lives inside of us.

The Holy Spirit never leaves us. He teaches us, comforts us, encourages us, is always working for us and in us. He reminds us of Jesus’ words. He convicts us in our sins and guides us to the truth.

For me, when I accepted Jesus into my life and received the Holy Spirit, I have had what I call “Wow Moments”. One, after another, after another.

Through my studies in seeking God, I have seen over and over how life without Jesus just doesn’t make any sense. When I was an unbeliever, I had been attacked by Satan many times in my life… I was subjected to so much pain…Now God does not say that as a “Believer” you will not be subjected to Satan and his antics, but what he does say is to “Put on salvation as your helmet and take the sword of the spirit which is the word of God” (Eph 6:17). See my “Wow Moments” happen because I feel things inside of me through the Holy Spirit and then I read about them in the bible…How cool is that!

The Holy Spirit has directed me to so many verses that have shown me how awesome God really is…What is so cool about reading the bible and growing in your relationship with God is finding out that, if we follow His word, we would live amazingly joyous lives…He gave us everything we need. He shows us how he protects us and how much He loves us…

Although I could share many of these verses with you, here are just a few of my favorite…

Galatians 5:22-23 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. There is no law against thest things.

Eph. 3:17 says Jesus will make His home in your heart the more you trust Him, your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong.

Bottom line for me is…God’s got my back and He has yours too!!!! Remember, He saved you by His grace when you believed….Now trust in Him with all your heart and seek Him in all you do! With the Holy Spirit on our side, we can't lose!!!

GOD OR BIG BANG

2008-06-30T12:48:00.001-07:00

No matter what you believe, one thing is clear, we all came from some powerful force and to believe that we came from the "Big Bang" would mean that life is all there is...nothing to follow...where is the hope in that?

I believe that God created us in his image, put on flesh, came to earth to experience the trials and tribulations of being a human being, suffered and died for the ultimate sacrifice, rose to life again to give us a hope that if we accept Him and believe in Him, we will also rise to a new life and live with him eternally. For me, that is the hope you can only get from God, not a Big Bang.

MY LIFE BEFORE GOD

2008-06-30T12:45:00.000-07:00

MY LIFE BEFORE GOD

Before God, I was a seemingly selfish person. I was incapable of seeing the many blessings in my life. The great thing about God is that He waits patiently for us to find Him and then He opens our eyes to all that He has given us.

One of the blessings I saw was my nephews. I have two beautiful nephews that I love with all my heart. But I was always too selfish to see how much they loved me back. How much they wanted me to be more a part of their lives. Before God I spent very little time with them. I was so busy filling my days with nonsense that I could not seem to fit them in, never realizing that in the meantime they were growing up.

The next blessing I saw was life itself. You see, I am a cancer survivor. Before God, I was so afraid of dying. Dying was the end in my mind, filled with darkness, loneliness, and hopelessness. Actually what I just described was my life.

When they found the cancer I cried, but the “cancer” part never really sunk in. I went through the motions of the physical part, the surgeries, the pain, the healing. But I never identified that I actually had cancer until almost a year later when they told me that I needed to have scans on my lungs. Lungs I said, why lungs? The nurse said because the kind of cancer I had could metastasize in my lungs. That is when I realized I had had “cancer”. I was so afraid. I went into a depression. Then shortly after, my cat (my child of 18 years) developed cancer in her eye. She had surgery, bounced back like a kitten again, and then died 3 months later when the cancer metastasized throughout her body. She truly was my child, the love of my life and I had no idea how to live without her. Not to mention, I saw my own mortality through her cancer and her death. I went even deeper into a depression. In my mind, even though I had an amazing family, I was more alone than I ever had been before.

I spent my whole life living for tomorrow…. never, ever saw today. I was so lost in tomorrow, that during the 18 years of my cat’s life I stressed so much about losing her that I forgot to enjoy every minute that God blessed me with her.

I never enjoyed today. Not in my relationships, not on vacations, not my health…nothing. I was so busy chasing tomorrow. Then suddenly tomorrow had “cancer” in it, possibly death. And I had lost my lifeline of 18 years to the same disease. I had no relationship with God. I wasn’t even sure he existed. As a matter of fact I was sure if he did exist, he surely didn’t like me at all.

So what did I do…I cried, A LOT. I felt sorry for myself. I lost tons of weight and did not leave my house, other than to go to work, for 3 months. Then I found a friend and a boyfriend who where just as lost as I was and I developed toxic relationships.

Until one day my sister threw me into church (the most amazing church on the planet) and God spoke through my Pastor so passionately and grabbed a hold of me and has never let go. God is truly the answer to our peace. He made us in his image and we thirst for him every minute of every day that we are on this planet. It’s just that most of the time as human beings we are so stubborn we don’t see Him until we are on our knees and even then sometimes we miss Him. Thank goodness God doesn’t ever give up on us.

Thank goodness He loves us so much that no matter how much we hurt Him and turn our backs on Him, He is always there waiting for us until our selfish, stubborn beings are ready to recognize that He is all we need. We go through life searching for peace. We look high and low. We wake up every day hoping that “maybe today’s the day, the day I will find peace and happiness”. Mistakenly thinking that we can find it through another human being, possibly through a shopping spree, or maybe hitting the lottery.

Not knowing God and being under the influence of the enemy, we don’t even have a clue what it means to have peace through Jesus. The enemy has us so convinced that Jesus isn’t real. That if God even exists He must not care about us or He wouldn’t let all these bad things happen. This is the way I thought for many, many years. Never knowing what the Bible said, never reading God’s word.

Now I thank God every day that he used my sadness, my cancer, my loss, my sister to bring me to my knees. To bring me to Him, where I have found, without a shadow of a doubt, my peace through Jesus. I found my nephews, I found my health, I found my church, I found amazing people to do life with, I found my life. Thank You God for loving me so much. Thank You for being so patient. Thank You for forgiving me. Thank You for letting me LOVE YOU.

Colossians 1:13-14

13 For he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of his dear Son, 14 who purchased our freedom[a] and forgave our sins.

Finding God

2008-06-30T12:42:00.000-07:00

FINDING GOD

When I think of how long it took me to find God it makes me want to kick myself. To know this feeling of completeness, of true joy, of trust, of just knowing that no matter what comes my way that All Mighty God has my back, is to know what the true meaning of the word PEACE is.

I mean we all go through our trials, our aches and our deep pains of life and lose. But it really is different when you know God. When you finally come to the realization that he put on flesh, suffered beyond words, climbed willingly on a cross and died for you just because he loves you changes everything. Everything you think, feel, do and say. You want everyone you see to have the same feeling. You start thirsting to know all you can soak in about Him. You want to know him on a personal level. I have discovered that this is what we need to base our feelings of “true love” upon. We try to seek our true love through the flesh.

I spent my entire life seeking tomorrow, taking care of tomorrow. So much so that I never worried or even paid attention to today. My security depended on my career, my insurance portfolio, my home, my financial portfolio, my significant other of the time. Never thinking about God, never believing or understanding that He was all I needed.

I chased the dream of the perfect relationship. If only I had the perfect man for me. He would save me from this dreary life. We would conquer the world. We would be the “love” that everyone wanted to have. I mean, isn’t this what we learn from fairytales. That all we need to do is find our Prince and we will live happily ever after. Never did any fairytale ever tell me to (Matthew 6:33-34) Seek the Kingdom of God above all else and he will give me everything I need. It doesn’t say He will give me the man I need, it says everything I need. Someone needs to write a fairytale about that. Without God there are no princes or happily ever afters. Period.

We spend our lives worrying about tomorrow. Will I have enough money, will I ever find my prince, am I pretty enough, smart enough, and will I stay healthy. God says (Phil 4:6-8) Don’t worry about anything instead pray about everything, tell God what you need and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything you can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Fix your thoughts on what is true , and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think of things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

Most of us only wish we learned as children what it means to focus on God’s word, to put it into practice. Exposure to God’s word is not enough. It must lead to obedience. He provides us with a book that if we followed it, if we just listen to Him, we would live peaceful, full lives. He supplied us with everything we need, we just as humans continue to try to do it our way, thinking that God may need our help.

God says (Jeremiah 29:11-13) I know the plans I have for you says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster to give you a future and a hope. In those days you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly you will find me.

And I say when you find Him is when, and only then, your life will truly begin.